What Not to Say to a Pregnant Lady

1) “I knew you were pregnant!”
I got this a lot when we announced our pregnancy and I tried to get over it because I knew people meant it in a good way like “we could tell you were pregnant because you don’t usually have a tummy,” or “you’re so skinny we could notice a little bump.” I know that’s what people meant by it but for some reason I didn’t like it and it’s totally my own fault for feeling this way.

2) “Where are you having your baby?”
It’s not really the question itself that bothers me, it’s more what follows after I’ve given my answer. “Oh, I wouldn’t have my baby there. Especially my first child,” “really? but they don’t have doctors there if anything goes wrong.” Honestly, I don’t give a damn where you would have your baby, just don’t judge me on my decision on where to have mine. If I want to go to a birth care, I will go to a damn birth care. This is my pregnancy, not yours, and I will push out my baby wherever the heck I feel comfortable!

3) “Have you chosen a name?”
So what if we have? Most parents won’t want to announce the name of their unborn child until he/she is born. AND if they do share the name they’ve so thoughtfully chosen, it is not right to give your opinion of it if you don’t like it.

4) “You should be grateful you’re pregnant. There are so many women who have trouble getting pregnant.”
Yes I know and I don’t need you to remind me. I already feel guilty that I got pregnant when we didn’t plan to and that I was unhappy about it for the first 4 months. You reminding me that plenty of women have fertility struggles doesn’t help the situation. At all. And it doesn’t make me suddenly love the fact that I’m pregnant.

5) “It’s only going to get worse.”
Seriously? That’s what you want to tell me right now? I ALREADY FLIPPEN KNOW IT’S GOING TO GET WORSE BECAUSE WOMEN HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT PREGNANCY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. YOU DON’T NEED TO REMIND ME!! Also, it doesn’t make a hormonal pregnant woman feel any good.

6) “You’re glowing!”
I know you’re complimenting me, and I really appreciate it. I do. But I’m probably glowing because I’ve been sweating all day. I neither see nor feel any pregnancy glow that is not sweat. But thank you!

7) “I can babysit for you!”
Chances are, if you’re not my mum, my mother-in-law, or any of my Mum’s sisters, I already don’t trust you with my baby. So no, you cannot babysit for me.

8) “(Such and such) is a great name. Hint Hint.”
Awesome! when you have a baby, you can give them your name since you love it so much.

9) “What kind of birth are you having?”
Similar to the “where are you having your baby?” question, it’s not the question that bothers me, it’s the reaction to my answer. And again, how I choose to have my baby is none of your business so your opinion really doesn’t help. If I don’t want an epidural, I won’t get one. If I want a water birth, that’s what I’ll have. Again this is my pregnancy, not yours. Everyone is different.

10) “You shouldn’t be eating that.”
Hahaha. Hahahahahaha. Like, do you not care about your life at all? Because saying that to me might actually put your life in serious danger. 

11) “I can’t believe you’re having a baby.”
Yep, well neither can I. I didn’t plan for this to happen right now. I didn’t want this to happen right now. But it did and I got over it, now so can you.

Thanks for letting me vent. I really needed it as I’ve been holding on to it for the last 6 months now and that’s not healthy for me or my child hahaha. But also, you’re welcome. Because I’m saving you from future embarrassment and possible life threats. Also, don’t get offended or feel the need to apologize because you’re guilty of saying any of these things to me. We all know how it goes. You’ll message me saying “I’m sorry I said that! I didn’t mean it like that and I didn’t mean to offend you” then I will say “oh, don’t worry, I totally wasn’t talking about you!” But really I was and I just feel bad about making you feel bad. So blah, I don’t want any apologetic messages okay, folks. Just don’t be an idiot next time.


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