Today Aston started kohanga. We all slept in (but only by 10 minutes so it’s fine) and we have made a new family tradition! Pancake breakfast on the first day of school! Aston and I played around while Bryton made breakfast. I was holding back the tears from that moment on haha. Just playing with her and knowing that she was growing up and going to school. After breakfast we got ready and I remembered that I needed to name all of her things! Mum told me it was a good idea because they can get muddled up with the other kids’ things and I’d never see them again. On the way there we got stuck in terrible traffic. I haven’t driven on the motorway at peak hour in a year now and I forget how ugly it can be. So we ended up being almost half an hour late! Haha. Not starting the year off with good habits. On the way I was trying so hard not to ball my eyes. I made several ugly “stop crying” faces in an effort to not let the tears roll because I knew it would be hard to stop. I sat in the back of the car with Aston and she was happy and smiling and blowing me kisses. That didn’t help. When we arrived we took a couple of photos to remember the day. We walked in and she smiled straight away! She saw all the children and just wanted to play. We introduced her to the teachers and then sat down with her. As soon as we sat down she was gone! She crawled to the middle of the mat and just looked around, observing everyone and everything. Once she was satisfied (haha) one of the teachers started playing the ukulele and singing and Aston went straight over to her. She started stealing some toys from the other kids (oops) and all the big kids surrounded her and she was lapping it up haha. The big kids there love the babies so they were obsessing over her. We stayed for about an hour to see how she would settle in. They all sang songs and said a karakia (prayer). Aston was about the only one not being reverent (gotta work on that). Aston danced and threw her hands in the air and sang along with them. She didn’t really want me to hold her, she just wanted to be down on the ground with everyone else! After that the babies had their bottles and the big kids had morning tea. So Aston had her bottle but was too distracted by the other kids to really drink much. The babies went down for their naps – but not Aston! Noooo she wanted to stay up with the big kids. She crawled around their play area and was totally loving it! Then she found the little wooden bumble bee toy and starting playing with it. One of the big kids grabbed it by the string and started running around with it so Aston could try and catch it. She was loving it! We gave her kisses and said goodbye and left without her even noticing. She was too busy chasing the bee.
It made me so happy to see her happy. On the way there this morning I started to feel really sick. It was really happening! I was leaving her with complete strangers! I’ve never done that before. But as soon as I saw how happy she was, how happy the other kids were, and how happy the teachers were, I was a lot more comfortable. Another confirmation that it was right. She just fitted in so easily.
All day I missed her. I couldn’t wait for 4.30 to roll around. Bryton and I went out for lunch for Valentine’s Day and then headed to a sweet cafe I’ve been wanting to try for a while. After I ate my weight in food we went to my in-laws to jump in the hot tub. Unfortunately it was broken but we spent time with some of the family which was fun. But I missed our baby so much! I don’t think I’ve missed her like this before.
We left pretty early because I just couldn’t wait any longer. When we walked in she had been crying and one of the teachers was making her a bottle. Another teacher told me Aston was really tired and she just started getting grizzly before we got there. It was around the time Aston would usually take her second nap too so it made sense to me. Once she finally got her bottle and noticed we were there she was so happy. The teachers said she was really easy. She played with the toys and with the kids and loved it. I was really happy to hear that. I wasn’t sure if she’d start missing us and get upset – but nope (not sure how I really feel about that though haha). We only came back with 1 missing bib (my favourite one), 1 extra bib and 1 extra container. Wow. I did not think that would happen on the first day. So now I’m sending her to kohanga with cheap bibs and ugly clothes haha.
I’m hoping every drop off is as easy as today. It would make it worse for me if I left and she was upset. And I hope dropping her off gets easier for me because I’d hate to feel like this all the time! Ugh, why do I have to be so soft!!!! I mean, I love the kid but ugh I hate missing her so much that it literally makes me sick.
On another note, Aston is 11 months today (I’ll do a monthly update later in the week) which means in exactly ONE MONTH she will be ONE!!!! Party planning is underway but can I just have my newborn back for a second please? That went by too fast.
EDIT: Today is Aston’s second day of kohanga. Last night I basically cried myself to sleep. After a full day of holding back my emotions I couldn’t hold them in any longer. Ugh. SO annoying. This morning I dropped Bryton at work and as soon as he got out of the car I cried and had to pull myself together right before we pulled into the kohanga. I didn’t want Aston to feel how upset I was because I thought it might make her upset. I prayed she would make the drop off easy this morning. I took her out of her carseat and when she saw where we were she started kicking and getting really excited. We went inside and I put her on the floor. She hesitated a little but when she saw some toys she reached for them. I got her stuff out of her bag and gave her lots and lots and LOTS of kisses and before I started crying I walked out. I turned around and said goodbye and she blew me kisses and smiled! UGH. Then I walked to the car and balled my eyes. I can’t even imagine how much harder it would be if she wasn’t happy to be there. I cried all the way home and counted the hours til I could pick her up. I can’t wait to be done with these ugly emotions haha. So whoever said the second day was harder was right. Except it wasn’t harder for baby. It was harder for mummy 😥 This part of being a mum sucks.